Wednesday, August 6, 2008

The worst night of my life (but I was glad I was there)

“It is not tolerable, it is not possible, that from so much death, so much sacrifice and ruin, so much heroism, a greater and better humanity shall not emerge.”
--- Charles de Gaulle


I wrote this letter back in 2004 when I was on my first deployment in this conflict. The war was young and so were we, but the things I experienced this night stay with me still, and go on today, four years later. We are now up to 4600+ casualties with no end in sight.


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Dear Friends:

I want to share with you an experience that was probably one of the most significant of my life.

This week, the war in Iraq became very real and very close. Despite the booming economy, Michael Jackson, the New Hampshire Primary, and Super Bowl hype, people are still dying over here, and a few people are doing their best to increase the body count by making car bombs, sniping at patrolling soldiers, and shooting at our aircraft with guns, missiles and RPGs. My flights have all been uneventful, and for that I am extremely thankful. Hopefully we are reading the tealeaves correctly and avoiding the rough spots out there.

As you may or may not know, I am a Navigator in an Air Force Reserve C-130 unit. Our job here in Southwest Asia is to carry troops and supplies back and forth into places like Baghdad, or where ever the Army is that particular day. Lately the attacks on US troops have intensified and casualties have increased. On the night of January 24th and early morning of the 25th, my crew had the distinct honor to carry the remains of FIVE fellow soldiers out of Baghdad on the first leg of their journey home.

Below is part of a news article that details these young soldiers' fate:

Car bomb, roadside blast kill 5 GIs
4 Iraqis die in separate truck bomb explosion

The Associated Press
Updated: 12:00 p.m. ET Jan. 24, 2004
BAGHDAD, Iraq - A car bomb in a town west of Baghdad killed three American soldiers and injured six in addition to several Iraqi civilians, the military said. Earlier on Saturday, two American soldiers were killed by a roadside blast near Fallujah and four Iraqis were killed when a truck bomb exploded in Samarra.

The attack took place near a U.S. military checkpoint in Khaldiyah city, 70 miles west of Baghdad, witnesses said, speaking on condition of anonymity.

A U.S. military spokesman would not give details of the bombing except to say: "Three Task Force All American soldiers were killed and six were wounded when a vehicle based improvised explosive device detonated at 4.15 p.m. (8:15 a.m. ET) this afternoon."

The spokesman, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said several Iraqi civilians were also wounded in the attack, and one of them was evacuated to a military base for treatment.

He said two of the wounded soldiers were evacuated to a combat support hospital and four are being treated at a local military base.

Witnesses said an explosion, apparently caused by a car bomb, took place near a U.S. checkpoint at the foot of the Siddiqin bridge in Khaldiyah city. The account could not be independently confirmed.

Eight injured Iraqis were admitted to the hospital in the nearby town of Ramadi, including six women and two men, said Dr. Ahmed Nasrat Jabouri. He said one of them is in a serious condition.

Two other American soldiers were killed earlier Saturday in a roadside bomb near Fallujah town.

The latest deaths raised to 512 the number of American service members who have died since the United States and its allies launched the Iraq war March 20. Most of the deaths have occurred since President George W. Bush declared an end to major combat May 1.


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I can not adequately describe the feelings conjured up by the sight of two caskets being loaded on my plane, and then a few hours later being told there were three more. I physically hurt as we worked silently to configure the back of the airplane to accommodate the placement of the big metal boxes.

My crew and the ground personnel at the airfield formed an honor guard as the caskets were unloaded from a large refrigerator truck and carried up a ramp and onto our plane. We carry flags aboard our airplane to drape over the caskets because the Army does not provide any; the blue field of stars placed in the upper left hand corner to cover each hero's heart.

When the last casket was loaded, draped with a flag and secured, a Chaplain who accompanied the troops to the plane gathered us around the caskets and conducted a short, poignant service.

Psalm 23
A Psalm of David.

1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want;
2 he makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters;
3 he restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies; thou anointest my head with oil, my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.


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An hour and a half later, in Kuwait City, we reversed the process: We formed an honor guard at the rear of the airplane and stood at silent attention, saluting as the flag-draped caskets with our fallen comrades were slowly carried, one by one, down the ramp and slid into the back of another refrigerator truck for transfer to a second aircraft heading home to the United States later that morning.

We did this twice in one long, chill night. By the time we landed back at our base I was wrought with countless emotions: pride that I could be a small part in these heroes' journey home, sorrow for their families' loss, sadness at the sudden end to lives cut much too short, anger towards the people who did this.

It has taken three days to sort this experience out in my mind. It was very emotional and sad, but I'm glad I was there to be a part of it. I would like to think my aircrew made those soldiers' journey a dignified one, in keeping with their sacrifice for their country, and the land where they died.

Since that day we've been back into Baghdad two more times. This evening we brought out the body of a Spanish national, killed somewhere in Iraq. Though we don't render the same customs and courtesies to foreign nationals as we do to our own soldiers, we treat each charge with the utmost care and respect, and it is a distinct honor to carry each one closer to home.

Please pray for these brave men and women who have answered the call of their country and traveled so far only to fall in battle. And pray for the soldiers that are here, alive and well, doing their best to bring peace and security to a land that has been bereft of it for so long the people don't realize life without misery is even possible. All these folks are truly heroes.

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