Thursday, February 3, 2022

The worst proposal in history

 First, I want to point out that I am recording these memories due to the thoughtfulness and love of my wife of 35 YEARS, Laura Jane Griest. This was her gift to me for my 61st birthday. That caveat is important to keep in mind as I describe probably the worst proposal ever.

After dating about 3 months, I pretty much decided that Laura was the girl I had been searching for. If you think of a soul-mate as the person who totally gets you and fills in all the gaps in your life so that it is suddenly whole, Laura was/is it. The future for anyone is uncertain, but there are people who, you just know when you meet them, make everything doable no matter what the challenge or obstacle. That’s what I decided by around mid-May 1984.

It was solidified when we went out to Washington to meet my family in June or July. I took her to every favorite spot I could think of: Seattle, West Beach on Whidbey Island. Sunset Beach in Anacortes, Friday Harbor, Deception Pass, even a Bluegrass Festival up in the hills to the east. Everything just clicked. Later on I found out my family thought we were already engaged, which was NOT the case. But that trip solidified it for me.

The problem was it was a busy summer and the PCS (Permanent Change of Station) transfer clock was starting for Laura. She could sense it, and therefore so could I.

For my part, I had NO experience with proposing to someone. No older siblings. A few buddies at the Academy, but none who planned anything elaborate. I probably knew about having the ring picked out and in hand at the crucial moment, but there was just enough uncertainty in the Air Force’s ability to match us up for future assignments that I truly believed there was a strong possibility she wouldn’t say “Yes.”  

By this time we were living together. The Ops tempo of the Base really ratcheted up that summer. It seemed like there was one exercise or major deployment after another. Laura was involved in all of them. I was blissfully young and dumb, and just finding my way on my first crew, sitting alert every third week, and meeting up with her every chance I could.
One Friday in July, I must have just come off Alert because I had the day off, so I made a big fancy dinner, totally oblivious that an exercise was kicking off. Laura came home nervous as a cat, because she had to do forecasts and brief leadership, etc. It quickly became evident that that was the wrong time to propose marriage.

A few weeks later we deployed to Biggs Army Airfield, just outside El Paso, Texas. The big plan was to practice operating out of austere airfield in case we ever would put B-52s in the desert as part of a conventional war. For decades that had been thought of as ridiculous because our #1 enemy was Russia, and #2 was China. No one thought much about #3. Little did we know, but the thought was creeping back in…

So we all deployed to El Paso. The aircrew went into these old barracks, two to a room, which is where I stayed, bunking with either Jim Veazy or Dave Bucknall. All the support folks stayed in something called Harvest Bare, makeshift boxes that expand to dorms that you hook up air conditioners too, and slept probably 10. That’s where Laura stayed.

Laura had a vehicle to drive to the airport weather shop (I’m guessing on this stuff) to download all her weather maps in order to do her forecasting. The benefit was that she could stop by our barracks and we could see each other for a few precious minutes whenever we weren’t flying. The problem was my crew knew we were dating, and they absolutely made it a mission to not leave us any privacy during those visits. None. They thought it was funny. Laura did not.

And that’s what led to my proposal. We were standing next to her truck out side my barracks after she stopped for a visit. She was reading me the riot act abut my crew not giving us any privacy, and I said something really stupid, like, “Look, I’ve been trying to ask you to marry me for months, and you are always upset about something. Do you want to marry me, or what?”

That was it. The worst proposal ever.

Her response? “You can’t ask me a question like that!”

Pretty sure the conversation came to a complete stop right then. She had to get back to work, and my crew were lurking around somewhere.  

So the exercise finished, we all loaded back on planes and headed back to Ellsworth and our lives. 

Thus followed a really awkward 30 days. because the question was out there. Hanging….

We continued to hang out together, see each other at work, on alert, etc, Finally, the enormity of “the ask” became too big to ignore. We were talking somewhere, I think at her work, and I suddenly blurted out, “Well? Did you decide?”

And she looked at me very calmly and replied, “Didn’t I tell you? Yes.”
Engaged!!


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