Bring Me Men...

“Bring me men to match my mountains: Bring me men to match my plains: Men with empires in their purpose and new eras in their brains.”

~ Sam Walter Foss

My wife received an e-mail from my son's High School Tennis coach. He asked each of the boys' parents to participate in this year's Tennis team end of year banquet:

Parents,

Please be prepared to say a few words to your sons.

Dad’s Assignment

1. Pick a SV Tennis Core Value or a Family Core Value
2. Talk about what that core value has meant to you over the years
3. Give an example of how that core value has led to success in an area of your life.
4. Challenge your son to discover and live a life committed to core values.

Mom’s Assignment

1. Pick a good quality that your son possesses
2. Share how and when you have seen that quality come to life in your son’s life
3. Tell why that quality is so important to his future.
4. Share your love and affirmation with your son.

The talks do not have to be long, but our desire is to make a lasting memory.

Thanks for your participation.

Coach Grove

The Banquet is today, and I am unable to attend, being something in the neighborhood of 6900 miles away. My first reaction was to just say, ''that was nice," and delete the e-mail, knowing it was one more thing in my kids' lives that I was going to miss. But then I thought about it, and it struck me that this Coach was taking an interest in the lives of these boys that went way beyond the locker room or tennis court, which is really all he needed to care about. He is asking us to help mold these boys into the young men who will be the future of our families, communities and even our nation.

My son is a great kid, though not a great tennis player (yet), and he may never be, but I think he is extremely fortunate to have this type of mentoring and leadership in his life, especially coming from outside the family. It shows that our society expects great things of our youth, and not only do we have high expectations, we are committed to helping them be the best that they can be.

So, I sat down, wrote out what I would stand up and read if I was there at the banquet, and sent it to him and my wife. My thoughts may not be included in what goes on today, but I am hopeful that at some point my son will either see these words on paper or get them from me directly (when i get home), and he can think about what it takes to be a man in today's society. We can use all the good ones we can get.

The core values that have stuck with me the most are the ones that I have grown up with in the Air Force. There are three, and they are tied together.

1. Integrity First,
2. Service Before Self,
3. Excellence in All We Do.

Integrity first. Be true to yourself, your family, your team, the people you work with. People have to rely on you to do your part, and if they can’t, you make whatever group you belong to weak and unable to accomplish the goals you have set for yourselves. Be there when you say you will be, do the things that are yours to do. Be responsible and the one people can count on. Treat your friends, teammates, classmates and competitors with respect, and they will respect you.

Service before self. This is where the whole Boy Scout attitude comes into play. Do a good turn daily. Think of others ahead of your own needs. Think of what the team, your family, your neighbor, or your job requires of you, and see if you can’t easily take care of the things that spell success for that person or group, then tend to your own wants and needs.

Excellence in all we do. You don’t have to be the best, you just have to try your best. When you recognize you aren’t the best, do the work that will take you to the next level. That means study, train, practice… repeat. Don’t say you’ll do something unless you are willing to do it to the utmost of your ability. The old saying is, “a thing isn’t worth doing unless it’s worth doing right.” When you are on a team, committed to winning a game, a match or a season, your teammates expect you to show up prepared and to play. To do less is to fail them, and waste everybody’s time. Being successful in school and life is exactly the same.

Team sports are a learning laboratory for life. Enjoy the competition, savor the victories and learn from the defeats, but more than anything else, you need to embrace the experience that working together for a common goal provides. Your lives will be filled with challenges, but if you can set goals, ask for assistance when needed, help those who need your assistance, and do your best at all times, you will be successful men.