Be careful what you ask for.

Here’s how I remember it… 33 years later:  Hot, noisy, bumpy; smells like Jet fuel, hydraulic fluid, electrical tape, and 30 years of sweat and piss. ❤️

The business office of a B-52 bomber. Navigator on the right, Radar Nav (Bombardier) on the left. Two scopes each, no windows. A tiny piece of desk space to work. Oh, and ejection seats that blast downwards.

When I got my B-52 assignment, I went to the local Buff unit and asked if I could go along for a ride…. To see what I had gotten myself into. A guy at a nearby desk looked up, and said, “Just go lock yourself in a closet with a vacuum cleaner for 8 hours.” 

He nailed it. 

But boy was it fun!

The tooth of the matter

 As a young Captain in B-52s, I returned from a month of Instructor upgrade with an aching tooth. I had alert changeover on Wednesday, so Monday morning I showed up at the dental clinic bright and early.  

A quick X-Ray later, the Colonel dentist announced I need a root canal, and he was ready to do it immediately. Two or three shots and a mouth dam later, he was hard at it… and at it… and at it. Three hours later, he calls it a day and tells me to come back again the next day. 

He asked if I was on PRP (Personal Reliability Program), and through my dam, I drool “Yeth.”

I also menthoned (sic) I had to go on alert in a day and a half. The Colonel laughed and said, “That’s not happening.”

He asked what squadron I was in, and had the admin assistant call over to tell them I wasn’t going to be available for alert duty till Thursday at noon. 

As he’s taking all the accoutrements off me, the phone rings and the Admin says there’s a Lt Col Sutherland on the line. Now I’m curious.

I lay there in the seat lithening while the Colonel explains I’m pretty high on Novocain, and I have to come back to finish up the next day, including more Novocain, and will be prohibited from flying duty for 48 hours. 

There’s a few seconds of silence, while he listens, then he covers the mic, puts the phone down and asks, “Who is this bozo?”

“Sir, thaths my Squadron Commander.”

He rolls his eyes, pulls up the phone, and “replies back, “No, he did NOT get a root canal on purpose just to get out of alert. Have you ever HAD a root canal? NOBODY gets a root canal on purpose, especially not a TWO-day root canal.” 

I came back the next day, finished the root canal, got fitted for the crown and my temporary filling, and showed up for alert, bright and achy, Thursday at noon. The Russians still at bay, the nation safe for Democracy. 

You see all kinds of leaders and bosses in your life, and each is memorable in his/her own way. Pay attention. 😉