You never know, until suddenly you do

 I think you spend all your years dating slowly identifying and cataloguing the traits in your soulmate that will end up making up your ideal life partner.  When I tell people, “You’ll know it when you see it,” it’s because you already have, you just didn’t see them all bundled up in in the persona of that one. special. person. And then you do.

I met Laura in a bar at the Hotel Alex Johnson. To me, we immediately clicked. I was attracted to her clothes, her looks, and the way she smiled, her wit. I had only been in Rapid City a week, but she was a breath of City air that connected on every level. We danced and talked most of the evening, and I knew by the time she left that I wanted to see her again.

After the Wing Dining Out, a couple nights later, I was hooked. I think I didn’t see her Sunday at all, but from Monday on, I think we were pretty much inseparable for weeks, By inseparable, I mean that I would stop by and see her during the day at the weather shop, or we would get dinner together someplace.

On President’s Day weekend, we decided to “blow this hick town!” and go to the big city. She had been at Ellsworth without a break since the previous June, including Christmas, and needed a break. I was pretty much up for anything, so we decided to jump in the car Friday after work, and go somewhere that there was shopping, culture, and things to do.

Our choices were pretty stark: Denver, about 6 hours away on a good day; or Minneapolis, about 8 hours away. Somehow I don’t think we put a lot of thought into the distance, other than it would be good for a  3 day weekend. Since Laura was a meteorologist, and worked in a weather shop all day, I let her choose. She said a big storm was coming in and Denver was going to get clobbered, so we should go to Minneapolis.

We did NOT get the earliest start after work, so probably didn’t get on the road till 5 or 6. Once we got on the highway east it was pretty much a straight shot for 6 hours on I-90. I mean straight. But… an ice storm crept up behind us, and we ended up crawling along on ice covered roads all the way to Souix Falls, where we found a very small roadside motel with a vacancy sign still lit up at 3 or 4 am. The manager woke up and reluctantly gave us a room.

The next day, the roads were still bad, so we drove a bit more to Albert Lea, MN, and knocked on my cousin Dawn Boelke’s front door, and spent the afternoon and evening there.

Finally on Sunday, we drove up to Minneapolis and found a nice empty hotel right downtown. We wandered around the closed city center, an empty Nordstroms, and got ice cream. More than anything, we just spent time together.

On Monday, we had to drive all the way back to base, Luckily the sun came out and the roads were plowed, so even though the snowbanks on the side of the highway were 7-8 feet high, the roads were clear and we pretty much just flew back. Unfortunately, Laura had caught a flu or cold bug, and was now feeling absolutely miserable. It was a long, quiet ride back, and I remember being really worried that after this trip together with so little to show for it, she would never talk to me again. Luckily, I was wrong.

But after that trip, going through all the experiences and “hardships,” I really started thinking how easy she was to be with, to work through difficult situations with, and what a future together might be like. It took another month or two to get to certainty, but by May, I had decided. 2Lt Laura Jane Griest was the one for me.

2 Jun, 1984. Lt Col McGuirk’s Going away party at the Club. I’m on Alert, and just pinned on 1st Lt. (Oh, and we’re publicly dating.)

How I met your mother

 (Disclaimer: This story is told from my viewpoint, and there may be claims that conflict with these memories. However this is my version, and I’m sticking to it!)

I met Laura on Thursday, 26 January, 1984 in the bar at the Hotel Alex Johnson, Rapid City, SD.

I had been in town since Sunday night. I had arranged with a guy I went through NBT (Nav Bombadier Training) with, Kent Sjolund, to share an apartment. He was about a month ahead of me at Castle (B-52 Crew training), so he got into town right after Thanksgiving. He found a two-bedroom place, with easy access to the highway to the base, and had it all waiting for me to arrive.

The first week was kind of hectic. There was the whole stress of showing up at the base, meeting my first real flying Squadron Commander, the people in Bomb/Nav, the Training Flight guys, orderly room, etc. by the end of the week, I was beat.

On Thursday, my room mate suggested we go to the bar at the the Hotel Alex Johnson, AJ’s. It was Ladies night and “would really be hopping,” - they would even have a DJ. I was like, sure! I put on my best preppie look; polo shirt with the popped collar and a button down shirt over… off we went (Not sure why I thought that was THE look to have in Rapid City, but it is what it was).

AJ’s was about the only bar that aircrew hung out at, so when we arrived, there were a couple  guys there already.

At some point after we arrived, I remember seeing Laura sitting at the bar with a couple Navs, talking. Someone said she was one of the base weather officers, and wasn’t dating anyone, so I went over, horned my way into the conversation and eventually asked her to dance. Once we were on the dance floor, we danced for a long time. We were talking and time just sort of melted away. She even asked if I was dating someone (Nope, I had left all that behind, figuring no one was going to want to come to South Dakota). And then suddenly she said she had to leave, because the guy she came with was ready to go. I looked over at the door, and there was another Nav, a Captain I think, who I had met somewhere earlier in that blur of a week, standing with his coat on. Oops! It was funny because she said it so matter of fact.

I went home wondering how and when I was going to see her again. Base Ops was not going to be hard to find, but I wasn’t sure about her phone number…

Either the next day or Saturday morning, the apartment phone rang (1984, I’m pretty sure we didn’t have cell phones yet, at least I didn’t.) Laura was on the phone! She asked me if I wanted to go to the Wing Dining Out Saturday evening, “The Night of the 28th” (Dining In - Military only; Dining Out - bring your significant others). I was caught totally by surprise! I figured this first date was something I would really have to work at for awhile… and here it was, on a silver platter! Then my brain went to work….

Did I have a Mess Dress? Actually I did! For some reason, I had not packed it, but carried it in my car from California. I still had my 2nd Lieutenant shoulder boards, so I was good for rank…Wait! I didn’t have Navigator wings! The last time I had worn it was at a Christmas Dining In prior to getting my wings. I couldn’t go to a new (to me) Wing function with all the Squadron people there and have no wings… Yikes! Panic set in. Then Laura said she knew several Navs who probably weren’t going, and she’d see if they had Mess Dress wings. I was skeptical (Why wouldn’t people be going?), but agreed. She said she’d call me back.

I went scrambling through my stuff and found my Mess Dress, accoutrements, and dress shoes: all I needed to do was polish them up.

A bit later, she called back: Nav wings found! I’d pick them up when I stopped by to pick her up.

That’s when I got lost. Driving over to pick her up, following her directions to the ‘T,’ I ended up on this dirt road on my way out of town.

It’s hard to look at a map now and figure out how I made a turn too early, but  back then, the east side of town wasn’t so built up, and I ended up on a back road headed north east, which I knew pretty much immediately was wrong. So I had to back track, back to my apartment, call her, figure out that I should NOT turn right onto a dirt road (ignore it) and continue. Sure enough, that worked.

She had a nice little ground floor apartment on Serendipity Lane (I took that as a good omen!). She pinned my wings on my Mess Dress, I introduced her to the mighty Mustang, and we were off: two 2nd Lt’s to the Officer’s Club and the Wing Anniversary celebration.

It was a fun evening. I was feeling pretty good, especially after she told me she had previously turned down several offers to go to the party. I was the new guy on base and NOBODY knew who I was. EVERYBODY knew who she was: She was an officer, female, and she’d been on station since last June.

We had seats kind of on the left side of the room, and I kept having this feeling that people at the head tables were staring at us. I mentioned it, and she said they probably were. They were the Wing Staff, and she briefed them everyday. They were probably wondering who she was with at the party.

No pressure.

There was food eaten, words spoken, things toasted. We probably danced for awhile, and mingled a bit. At some point we were done and I drove her back to her apartment.

We sat on her great couch and talked and watched TV for awhile. At some point I noticed she had fallen asleep. I wasn’t quite sure how I should take that, so I quietly put a blanket on her and slipped out.

The phone was probably ringing when I got back to my place. “Where did you go?” she asked. I explained that she had fallen asleep.  “That’s because I felt really comfortable with you.”

Sold.

People who had the biggest influence on my life

 There is no question that my parents, by far, had the largest impact in my life. I am 100% a product of living with, and being raised by them. They were very loving, supportive parents, and I know both Dave and I always had the feeling we were destined to do great things. Because they let you think you could do anything. Did we? Maybe the jury is still out on that…

My Mom was very creative, and i gravitated to that that early on. She painted and had me paint right along side her. I still have one of the paintings I did when I was about 11; a parachutist floating back to earth after chute deployment. When I told my Mom I had parachuted in college she was thrilled and rooted around till she found the canvas, and gave it to me.

Other activities she got me into were singing lessons (Dave got to take accordion), needlepoint and doing macramé. I made hanging flower pot holders and the belts I ended up wearing to school with my flashy bell bottom pants.

Dad was just influential as any physically present Air Force Dad can be. He had the greatest job on earth, he was passionate about it, so he was a role model there. He loved football, so I loved football, and all sports, including bowling, which was something I started doing living in Libya, which was 3rd and 4th grade.

Both were emphatic about school success. They knew my teachers and respected all their demands. They knew that academic success led to success later in life, and that was important to them, and therefore to me.

In school, I had some great teachers. I had Mr. Lorenzetti for two years in 5th and 6th grade in Italy. Very demanding teacher, and even though I was probably very ADD, he recognized I was doing well.

The coach I had for JV football in Junior High school. He didn’t know much about football, (probably assigned to be the coach of the 7th graders) but he always seemed to be centered on the fact that winning wasn’t the goal, participation, teamwork and effort was.

Lots of good teachers in high school, mostly english and journalism. Mr. Stanley (English) and Teresa Smith (Journalism) at Rancho. At Agua Fria it was Ms. Bauer (English), Ms. Starr (Journalism); and Jo Naehrbass (U.S. History).

In college, there were excellent instructors, but not many stood out as influencers. Capt George Flood was a Squadron advisor. I talked to him a lot and his laid back demeanor was really helpful (turns out he was also a B-52 Nav, which I didn’t appreciate till later). Unfortunately I lost contact with him.

Capt Mark E.S. Mayhew was my Air Officer Commanding (The Squadron babysitter) my Senior year. A decent enough guy, but during the second semester of my Senior year, he wanted me to down-grade performance reports for two guys in my flight who were in trouble with the Academy for having an illegal apartment downtown. They were unranked and therefore had no responsibilities. All they had to do was go to class, keep their rooms in order and stay out of trouble. They did that. All their transgressions happened when I wasn’t their “Supervisor,” so I had nothing to downgrade them on. I said they were satisfactory for their job performance. Not great, but satisfactory. Mayhew pulled me into his office, told me I wasn’t a team player, and said I would make a lousy officer. That has stuck with me ever since. I made it a goal to prove him wrong, and I think about that conversation a lot.

Once I was in the Air Force, lots of good influencers: Jim Veazey was my first Radar Navigator. Nicest, most easy-going guy ever. He had been in the B-52 a while and seen a lot, and really helped me when I was first starting out. In the B-52, everyone has a job that is relied upon from day 1, except the Co-pilot. That guy is pretty much along for the ride and is learning to be a Aircraft Commander for about 2-1/2 years. The Nav has to perform on every flight. He’s directing the plane across the country; to the air refueling track; to the low level route within 30 seconds, to the target withing 10 seconds; back home; and directing the approach. I felt so much stress I had acid reflux between flights so bad for the first couple months, and had to go to the flight surgeon for Mylanta. Eventually it all calmed down as I realized I really did know what I was doing. Jim was a big help with that.

My first Aircraft Commander, Chris Moore, taught me staffing, writing evaluations, the importance of going after good missions both for advancement, but also to challenge your self and and your crew. Nobody gets better doing the same thing day after day. Chris was a big fan of taking on all the challenges, but then doing them right, and making sure people knew about it later.

Dave Shunk, my first AC at Griffiss, was a lot like Chris. I showed up as a new Radar Navigator (Bombardier) about the same time he did, and they built a crew around us. He was fresh from Air Command and Staff College, so we assumed he had a future… (he did). But he was “lean forward” too, but very calm, cool, and collected in the plane. He let us screw up and gave us cover when we needed it. Taught me the importance of letting your people do their job, but let them know you had high expectations.

When I got off Active Duty and went to work at Cooper Power Systems as a Quality Engineer, Richard Osmond, took me under his wing and showed me a lot about working in a manufacturing organization, as well as how to do well in a civilian job. He and Victor Bell, really just pointed me in a direction and let me “get at it.” Amazing what you can accomplish when the trust level is that high.

In the Reserves, the guys who impacted me the most were the ones who trusted me the most, and let me do my thing.  Colonels Chris Joniec, Darryl Hartman, and Jeff Van Dootingh; all guys who recognized I had things to offer, and let me do things with them.

The guy who influenced me most about money was a guy named John Harrington. He was a bomber pilot’s bomber pilot at Ellsworth when I arrived. I only got to fly with him once or twice before he retired, but everyone in the Squadron knew him. He became a sales agent for a Mutual Fund company. They sold military folks front-loaded mutual funds and Insurance. The insurance was great, but front-loaded mutual funds? Anyway, even knowing that, I signed up. I don’t know if he really knew anything about money, but his selling point? “I want to give you a tax problem.”

And he did. It was a great intro into starting retirement savings, which led to savings for school, which let to savings for emergencies, etc. After I took a class in investments during my Masters class, I realized I could invest in no-loads and save even more money, I basically cashed out of the USPA & IRA funds and went on “our” own investing. I think we’ve done okay. But I always think back to John. Very enthusiastic about life, and really “helping” others start on the right path to financial independence. (Oh, and buy a house when the time is right.)

Obviously the person with the most influence my adult life is my wife, Laura. I spotted that ability the first time we talked in the Alex Johnson bar. Our first road trip could have been a real disaster, but we just worked things out, pressed forward, and at the end, we still liked each other. It’s been that way for 35 years. Every major decision has been made after talking to her and figuring what’s best for us and  our family. When to get off Active Duty. Where to go; where to live; when NOT to move (follow the Air Force track); among probably a thousand other little ideas/decisions that shaped our family’s life. I think the only major decision I made without much consultation was NOT going back to Cooper Power Systems when the strike ended (I hated working there), and buying the Buick Rondezvous, which I really liked, but she was never sold on.

All in all, I’ve been incredibly lucky in love and life, and I owe it to a lot of people who always came into my life at just the right moment. The trick has been recognizing them and accepting their mentoring, guidance, support, and love.

 

What I did wearing the green bag

 

Being in the Air Force for almost 37 years, my roles changed so many times, it’s hard to keep track.

When I first started out, I was assigned to Undergraduate Navigator Training (UNT) at Mather Air Force Base, just outside Sacramento, California. My job was to learn my job: How to navigate an airplane. I then went to Castle Air Force Base, in Merced, CA and learned how to be a Navigator on a specific airplane: the B-52. From there it was on to my first assignment, where my role was to be a Navigator on a B-52 aircrew whose primary mission was to be ready at a moment’s notice to run to the airplane, quickly start engines and take-off before nuclear missiles rained down from the sky, then fly to Russia and make them pay for attacking us by dropping our own nuclear weapons on their heads. We called it “Mutually Assured Destruction.”
I did that for about a year and a half.

I then upgraded to Instructor Navigator, where my role was to fly with new Navigators when they first came on base, or guys who had been sick for awhile and lost currency, to get them checked out again. I did that for about 9 months and then went back to Castle AFB to upgrade to Bombardier.

In the Bombardier role, I was back on a crew, only now I was responsible for all the weapons on the plane. And there were a lot of them. At one point we had 12 Air Launched Cruise missiles (ALCM) on the wings that we would launch before we penetrated enemy airspace, 4 gravity weapons, and 8 Short Range Attack missiles (SRAM) on a rotary launcher we would launch at various locations along our track through Russia or China on our way to the gravity targets. I eventually became an Instructor Radar Navigator (Bombardier), and then an Evaluator Radar Nav, charged with ensuring proficiency among the Navigator crew force.

When I got off Active Duty in 1990, and joined the Air Force Reserves in Pittsburgh, I basically did the same thing, only in C-130s. Navigator, Instructor Navigator and eventually Evaluator Navigator, responsible for getting the plane and cargo to it’s destination, either by landing and off-loading it, or airdropping it by parachute.

As time went by, I joined the Staff, and became first a tactician (planning missions), then a scheduler, then the unit Deployment Manager, responsible for ensuring everyone was trained and ready to deploy when activated. Lots of paperwork and follow-ups with individuals and the various organizations on base.

One day, the Wing Commander came and asked me to be on his Inspector General exercise team, so despite many reservations, I spent three years developing and running exercises to make sure our people could do their jobs when called on. There were several large airdrop exercises, and then a huge medical readiness exercise where we used our airplanes to transport “medical casualties” to hospitals around the northeast, called Exercise Lycoming Reach. I think we had almost 900 people in three states (PA, NY & MA) involved.

Because that went so well, I was selected to be the Squadron Commander for my last deployment in 2015. We took 4 airplanes, six crews, and a bunch of maintenance and support staff first to Kuwait, and then to Qatar, and flew missions every day into Iraq and Afghanistan for four months. That was a lot of work, but I really enjoyed it.

When I came home, I was moved into the Standard/Evaluation section (Quality Control for aircrew proficiency), then became the Squadron Director of Flying Operations for about 18 months. I then took over as the Operations Group Commander for about 3 months while the guy who was the real Ops group Commander went to school to never really learn how to fly the C-17. About a month before he came back, I switched over to the C-17 Program Office to run the transition of the base from C-130s to C-17s. I had a team of 5 subject matter experts from all over the base - Communications, logistics, Operations, Maintenance, and Civil Engineering; and we basically solved problems as they came up to keep things running smoothly. It was a lot of fun - I basically pointed them all in various directions and kept things on track. I did that until I retired, then switched over to doing the exact same job as a civilian, waiting for the Simulator to arrive, so I could become the Contract Officer’s Representative, overseeing the Boeing simulator Training contract on our base.

It was a very interesting career and I was able to learn a lot about the Air Force, contracting, engineering, human resources, support agencies, leadership and followership. I was not always eager to change jobs, but once I did, I always found it a great experience; I met fascinating people and enjoyed every new challenge. It was very rewarding.