Babe and Buddy - Celebrating 50 years

Good parents give their children Roots and Wings. Roots to know where home is, wings to fly away and exercise what's been taught them.

--Jonas Salk

One of the top events of the year was my parents' 50th Wedding Anniversary this past weekend at their home in Anacortes, Washington. My brother and sisters and I began discussing what to do and where to have this celebration a couple of months back, and though my parents were living in Lodi, California, it was pretty much decided by all parties that the best place to have a true family celebrations was up at the beach house on Fidalgo Island.

My parents ended up driving up with my Uncle Bob about two weeks prior to the big day, and my siblings and I started trickling in last Thursday, with the actual party scheduled for Saturday afternoon.

I met up with my sister Sandy at the Seattle Airport, the two of us timing our flights to arrive within about a half hour of each other. We rented a car, stopped at a Starbucks for a snack, then drove the two hours north to Anacortes. It was a nice pleasant drive in beautiful clear weather, and gave the two of us a chance to talk and get reacquainted since we hadn't seen each other in probably a year or more. A lot had changed in both our lives, and the drive gave us a great chance to catch up.

My brother Dave and sister, Susan each made their way up to the house later that evening, so that by midnight, we had the entire family together for the first time since 2004. No spouses or children this trip, but since the event was focused on Mom and Dad, we had decided the fewer distractions the better.

Friday morning was kind of disorienting. I think the last time the six of us were all together and alone in the same house was a Christmas back in 1983 when I was at Navigator training down in Sacramento. The family dynamics were all back in play, only we were older, set in our own ways and struggling internally to find a way to make this new/old relationship work again. I'm sure this weekend would have made a great documentary by some twisted indie film maker.

In any event, we made our lists of things that needed done around the house and yard to get ready to host guests; followed by more lists of menu items and job tasks each of us would perform during the party. There were a couple disagreements, but I thought for the most part things went pretty smoothly; we had a common goal uniting us: letting our parents genuinely enjoy a celebration of their milestone with friends and family.

The house had not been lived in for several months, so there was lots to do. On top of that, re-modelers had been in the fall before, replacing the roof, remaking the master bedroom, one of the baths, new paint and wainscoting in the family room, and sprucing up a lot of the kitchen. The house is a work in progress, but it is such a beautiful piece of property that it would be a crime to let it deteriorate though lack of care or attention. Mom and Dad have made some serious changes to the place since the last time I saw it, and the results are truly amazing.

I tackled the lawn, taking the beat up lawn mower through about 8-10 inches of grass in a long, slow, arduous process to reclaim the yard for human use. Windows were washed and scrubbed, trash and debris were collected, bagged and eventually hauled off to the dump. Inside, the house was gone over with a fine tooth comb and made habitable again.

The four of us headed out to Costco to shop for the party menu items, and then stopped by a nursery for flowers and plants which later were planted in garden plots we prepared on the beach side of the house. By the end of the day, we had the place in pretty good shape, and even the most meticulous planner would have been fairly pleased to host relatives and friends.

Saturday morning we scurried around with final clean-up and setting things in place. Another run to the store for ice and last minute inspirations, and suddenly it was party time as the relatives started arriving. Since all of us were from out of town, Susan had asked the local family to help in the provisioning, so almost everyone showed up with drinks, snacks, salads or desserts. I think it was a good idea as everyone felt a part of the celebration, not just a visitor.

I was assigned grill duty, for whatever reason, and was faced with several slabs of Tri-tips, which having lived on the "east coast," I had never heard of before, but I figured, "what the heck, if it's meat, I can grill it!" We also had salmon, and dogs for the kids and faint of heart. Sandy tried to roast some brocolli on the grill as we were doing the prep work, but it didn't go over too well... something about wet pyrex and direct heat.... all of a sudden there was this big "POP!" under the grill hood and glass shot out the sides.... (luckily I had just turned away from the grill); when I lifted the lid, we found the glass baking pan had shattered into zillions of little pieces! Cool!

The goal was to be eating by 1400. I think we were close, but probably didn't hit it right on. But with the visiting and congratulations, I don't think it mattered much. Everyone just kind of made themselves at home, and started filling their plates as I pulled meat and fish off the grill.

At some point we had Mom and Dad pose with a beautiful silver tea service that my Aunt Bonnie brought to set up for the occasion, and then they posed with the Anniversary cake.

Naturally there were lots of pictures as this was one of those family reunion occasions that seldom ever happen once the kids have grown and moved away. I think we had all three of my Mom's sisters and most of their kids (my cousins) attend: Jocie had Dennis and his family in from Oklahoma, along with Loree and Cheryl and their families. Carolyn came with Cathy, Ricky, and Becky with her husband Ken and grandson arrived later in the day. Bob and Bonnie came, but both cousins Mike and Lane (now Steven!) were unable to make it, living fairly far removed from Anacortes these days.

One of the neat things of the day was a boyhood friend of my Dad's, Ed Sarin, stopped by and regailed us with stories of my Dad's childhood in a very small, depression-era Glenwood, Minnesota. I had heard tales of this guy over the years, but never met him. All of us were thrilled to hear Ed's take on growing up with someone we only knew as an adult. I'm sure some of it was exaggerated for effect, but in every good story there's at least a hint of the truth buried somewhere!

Another highlight of the day was the lighting and release of a "hope balloon" that another friend of my parents, Anna, brought with her. It was a large paper balloon with a candle in the base. Dad lit the candle and let the hot air fill the balloon, then he and Mom released it into the air. We all watched as it rose high into the late afternoon sky and sailed slowly out over the bay. It was an absolutely beautiful finish to a fun-filled day with family and friends!

Towards the end of the day several of Dave' and the girls' friends showed up, (I last lived on the beach when I was in Junior High, so I've lost contact with anyone I ever knew in Anacortes, but the other kids spent some or all of their high school years in the local area). It was great putting faces to names after all these years, and after we cleaned up, we decided to spend some time together as just siblings and friends. We drove into town and grabbed a table at the Brown Lantern Ale House, grabbed a few beers, and swapped stories with Sarah and husband, Chris, till the wee hours of the evening. It was a lot of fun, "why do you ask?"

Early Sunday, Susan departed the fix, having to be back to work bright and early Monday morning. The rest of us hung around the house for most of the morning, then slowly drifted off in different directions. Dave to visit his friend Brad, Sandy and I to tour a mostly shut-down Anacortes on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. We had lunch at a local grill, window shopped, and generally just chatted about families and life. In the evening we all congregated back at the house for dinner and a bon fire on the beach where we cooked s'mores - just like the old days!

I love this house, the beach and everything about growing up here. Being an Air Force brat meant the visits were few and far between, but the times that we did spend here, immersed in family and the outdoors, was probably my most favorite times of growing up. I'd say I wish I could have stayed here always, except for the fact I would have missed out on living in such places as England, North Africa, Italy, Las Vegas or Phoenix... The wonderful thing was knowing that we always had this place to come back to.

Whether we keep this house in the family or not, it has produced a lot of good memories that I know my family will cherish for a lifetime. I can't wait till we come back in 25 years to celebrate my parent's 75th wedding anniversary, so the great grandkids can experience all that we have.